SharksWithLasers -- Seth Cooper

A CUTTING-EDGE BLOG FOR THE WORLD OF THE 21st CENTURY, Currently operated by Seth L. Cooper, a 27 year-old attorney in Seattle (sethlcooper at comcast dot net)

Friday, February 27, 2004

DISASTER DATE...BUT KINDA FUNNY: While it is my general preference to keep this blog focused upon intellectual topics and current events, its always nice to throw in a personal anecdote every now and again.

On President’s Day, I hung out with a girl whose name I won't mention. This girl is nineteen-and-a-half, and so probably too young and immature for me to begin with—but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Anyway, I picked her up down towards Woodinville. She wanted to look at some pet stores with the idea of getting something for a friend of hers. So we went around for a while and all was fine and good. It started to get towards evening and both of us were hungry. She told me that she would like to eat at her new place of work. This was a little surprising to me, since I figured most people wouldn’t want to go eat at their job, notwithstanding the fact that her place of work was a Pizza Hut and I was certainly willing to take her out to a much nicer place. In any event, I decided to go along with it, since even Pizza Hut can be pretty good every now and again.

The two of us arrived at Pizza Hut. While we were seated at the table, my date continued to keep her attention focused upon the back of the restaurant, to see which of her co-workers were there. She then asked me if I wouldn’t mind her going and talking to a few of her friends at work, and I said that I was fine with that. On the drive over she had told me that the work atmosphere was really relaxed and that she liked flirting with this other guy she works with. Thus, I figured that’s what she was going to do when she left the table. To be honest, I was totally fine about it, in part because I was starting to have some misgivings about her anyway and knew that there was absolutely zero chances of a future between her and I. So why spoil her fun and get bent out of shape over all of it myself?

She came back a few moments later, very quiet and she appeared to be tearing up a bit. I asked her what was the matter and she just shook her head and mumbled something about hating her manager. From this point on, she became very quiet. She continued to gaze over towards the back of the restaurant or down at her food, avoiding me. In attempt to keep things from getting totally awkward, I began to ask her all sorts of questions about things, just to keep some sort of conversation going and lighten things up. I really didn’t succeed in this regard, however, since she usually mumbled one-word answers and nothing more.

“Cooper,” I thought to myself, “this is really weird.” “And she’s got a strange look in her eyes.” Then it struck me. Well, of course. She had earlier let on to the fact that she’s bi-polar, which gave me concerns. Perhaps now it was becoming evident. At this point, I began to wonder how I was going to get myself out of it all.

The next moment, the manager came right over. The manager apologized to my date, but also told her that the pizza boy she’d been talking to can be very easily distracted and has a hard time focusing. The manager then told my date that she would be to talk with her other employee during his next break.

With that, the manager left, and for the next few minutes she continued to act strange and despondent. “My, that was awkward,” I thought. So, we continued to eat our food and I continued to try and make conversation with her—but no luck. By now, I was actually a bit angry. To be perfectly honest, she could've been sleeping with the pizza boy, for all that I cared. But the fact of the matter was that I was paying for the date and I expected to have at least some sort of company! I didn’t think that was too much to ask.

In any case, a few minutes later, she got back up again and went to the back of the restaurant, behind the counter. She came back, and once AGAIN, continued in her odd behavior. “She’s snapped!” I thought to myself. “This is crazy! What am I going to do?!”

Fortunately, I didn’t have to do much of anything. My date finally spoke up and told me that her manager had asked her to work for a few hours, since Pizza Hut was very busy. I was rather surprised by this, and figured she could be lying. The place certainly wasn’t crowded and didn’t appear busy. But that ultimately didn’t matter to me—this was my big chance…my chance to escape! I asked her if she would be able to get herself a ride home. She replied that she would be okay. In my mind, the choice was perfectly clear: “Cooper, get out of there! Go now!”

Seizing the opportunity, I hastily paid the bill, boxed up what was left and got up. She waved from across the table and I promptly made my way to the exit, continuing to my truck at a brisk pace. I didn’t want to leave her the time to change her mind. Without a hitch, I started up the car and sped off.

On the drive home, I was actually laughing to myself. This girl was crazy. CRAZY! I was relieved just to be out of that situation. Apparently, the pizza boy might very well have been more to her liking than the lawyer. Well, he can have her. And good luck to him, too. You certainly can’t win ‘em all, and that’s one that I’m more than happy to lose.

(Downtown Seattle, WA)

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